| IM A FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[24 Jun 2005|08:00am] |
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ok i never post here but i dont have anyone to talk to so just the thought of anyone seeing this might make my mind drift away from the truth. i think no i know i fucked up bad! i did something with no intentions of anything, just as a joke. and megan saw what i did and she is really up set now. she confronted me about it and i couldnt speak there are know words when you hurt someone you love. i just couldnt look her in the eyes and feel right at all. god damnit im a fuck up!!!!!!! i love you megan its just sometimes i dont know where my mind is. i have a lot of things inside me that i hide. that i try to fight but some thoughts are just to hard to face, some thoughts eat at you and you try an try to make them stop. once again I FUCKED UP BAD!!!! this is really going to leave a scar on your heart and i know scars take along time to heal especially when there deep and i know that this scar is deep! im so sorry for what ive done!!! just know i was just jokeing just like i was jokeing when i sent it to the boys and put it on ricky .v's myspace. but i guess theres no excuses for something that hurts. i hope that we can just forget this, i hope..............
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(dranked)
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| FUCKS |
[05 Jun 2005|09:27am] |
i still love all of on lj.........pssssssssssshhhhhhh well maybe a couple of you
"SCENE" THIS JITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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(2shots dranked)
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[06 Apr 2004|09:21am] |
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i finally got my comp working again.
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(3shots dranked)
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[31 Mar 2004|08:33pm] |
i want it!!!!!!!!!
Hagstrom Standard 80-1962/White mother-of-pearl
( guitar )
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(4shots dranked)
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[25 Mar 2004|07:34pm] |
im starting a band soon. not so sure what i want to go for though, hardcore or indie. whatever it is ive already got the name, ardor pronounced (are'dure). its french it means love, loyalty, and madness. dont try to jack my shit either i done copywrited it, so ill cut your hand off at the wrist with a rusty spoon if you try.
but if you live in or around brevard and looking to start something, hear it may be.
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(3shots dranked)
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[22 Mar 2004|07:25am] |
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i quit smokeing yesturday, its been a whole day, megans says its been a day for her but ive heard that before. everythings going real good im the happiest ive ever been with the way things are going. i really need to start studying the books i got to get premoted. i only looked at them one time. its real hard for me to study for things though i just loose my mind and cant remember anything. i have 70 bucks i saved this week so that when i get payed next week ill hopefully have enough for some new ink. i will have atleast 1 hour overtime on that check to, in wich i get 12.50 an hour for. been playing guitar everyday thinking about getting something started thinking of who, were to look. i will start something one day dammit its my fucking calling.
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(1shots dranked)
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[09 Mar 2004|08:38pm] |
haha convo with steven about my new sn
enterwithbullets: jack daniels should sponsor people
enterwithbullets: like professional drinkers
xJackxDanielx: haha me!!!
enterwithbullets: exactly.. no more free advertising for them
xJackxDanielx: i got the zippo, articel, bottel collection
xJackxDanielx: haha
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(dranked)
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[09 Mar 2004|07:30pm] |
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moved into the pimp shake friday night. we just been workin, unpacking, setting up, and chillin all week. i finnaly have my computer back and got roadrunner hooked up sunday then it died on monday haha. i fixed it today, i just rebooted and formated it. haveing a welcoming party friday if your not invited don't fucking come or ill fucking kill you.
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(dranked)
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[03 Mar 2004|08:12pm] |
I cut megans hair monday and im proud of it, its hott. so like it bitch!!
( love )
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(3shots dranked)
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[29 Feb 2004|04:01pm] |
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yesturday was great, it had its ups and downs. did'nt sleep at all the night before. went skateing in the morning till like 5:00pm. went to megans, then ran some arons after she left. once i was done with that shit i went to jasons around 7:30pm. turned on the anthem song "gonna pore some whiskey gonna get drunk. gonna pore some whiskey gonna get fucking drunk. gonna pore some whiskey right now gonna get fucking drunk and passout." after that and a few shots later i was good to go. me, megan, and jeff, then left jasons and went to maxis for the cool punk rock show. it was like a fucking family reunion, i saw alot of my old freinds there. we stayed for a while at least until the shanks got done. left there at like 1:00am and went back to jasons. when i got to jasons i went to the frig and what the fuck do you know the bottel of jack i bought before i left that was full and i had no shots off yet was fucking 3/4 gone, i was fucking pissed. so i found out everybody who drank it sean, sean, krisha, and mickey. i got ten dollars from sean boner, so he paid up. krisha's giveing me 5 bucks next weekend and i whole new bottel, and mickey was passed out so i could'nt ask him but i figure like 5 or 10 bucks is fair. after all that it killed my buzz and i just chilled. went to bed at like 4 or 5am, woke up at 6:30am and waited for megan to get off work. came to megans went to sleep again until 4:00pm and now im just sittin around waiting for dinner. probably go to the skatepark after dinner dont know yet.
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(dranked)
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[15 Feb 2004|03:35pm] |
lastnight party'd at my house and evans house it was real fun. sean was pukeing his life away and so was megan, they both passedout. that jack will fuck yo shit up if you dont watch yo shit. we got kriss with the duck game so bad. haha brian smoked it was funny haha.
probably going to go to seans when megan goes to work and play guitar and xbox. my car is there so she has to drop me off there anyways. work tonight so i need to get some sleep to.
i love you ra sorry you lost your glasses and through up lastnight. <3
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(6shots dranked)
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[11 Feb 2004|08:03pm] |
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not much happend today. i got home from work, went to sleep and woke up at 6:00pm. i slept from 7:00am till 6:00pm, haha. when i woke up i went to megans and thats were i have been till now. leaving from hear to work at 10:00pm.
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(3shots dranked)
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[10 Feb 2004|09:38pm] |
today i got off work and went to cash my check. the gas station said not till 4:00 and i was like fuck that. went to publix they said not till at least 9:00 when the banks open. now getteing irritated i went to community educaters and the drive through didnt open till 8:00. i waited for an hour then got it cashed. in between my journeys i found that (a) my oil was black and (b) my tire was down to the wires, so from the bank i headed to the tire shop. droped $31 there, then went to my ants were my grandma was. gave her, her money and bam i was broke in 30 minutes. luckuly she gave my the $50 back and said just pay me back friday.
i got a pimp as black zippo, its the shit. went back to my house with megan and watched ami. now at megans about to drop her off at kelly's to watch a movie and im going to work.
fixing all the things that need to be done with my car this weekend, so the porche don't die.
i love you ra<3
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(2shots dranked)
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[09 Feb 2004|06:11pm] |
went to the dillinger show saturday, it was real good. the singer is so damn big. there were a bunch of skinhead and push mosh kids in the pit, but i got to dance a littel. the locust was crazy. they played in these full body white spandex suites with black eyes. they sound better on cd then live but ehh. your enimies freinds were good i like them alot. we didnt see the first band cause we went to chick-fil-a before we got there.
after the show we picked up jill and we went to my house and drank, it was fun. jill saw me and megan have sex, hahaha, and my penis, haha. went to bed around 3:00am.
woke up at 7:00am and could'nt go back to sleep so i woke jill and sean up and we sat around until like 11:00am. then we left and went to seans house so he could get his board so we could go to the park.
got back to megans at like 6:00pm or 7:00pm and i slept till like 9:00pm then went to work at 10:00pm. work was good it was an easy night but wet. at the end of the night jerry a guy i work with told me that shane my boss said i was doing a real good job and that if we had a crew like me we would be doing good. so thats all good news.
woke up at 4:30pm today and have been hanging out with my beautifull baby sense. il ove you ra. <3
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(2shots dranked)
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[07 Feb 2004|03:47pm] |
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i woke up at 4:30 today. might be going to the dillinger escape plan show tonight at 7:00 at the cool hob. thats if i can barrow money from my dad, he let me have 40 yesturday. will see what happens.
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(1shots dranked)
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[05 Feb 2004|09:07pm] |
took my pee test today. i got up there at 12:00pm and they took a lunch brake for an hr, fuckers.
no work tomarrow night i have friday's and saturday's off. i'll be getting paid next thursday. once we get that 7 hundred we will be living alone together once again, yesssssss.
megan has a doctors apointment tomarrow. she has a bad blater infection. she always gets them from haveing sex to much but i dont think once a day is realy all that much. if i had it my way id do it 5 times a day, hahaha.
i love you baby i hope you get better soon. i miss being one with my beautiful lady.<3
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(2shots dranked)
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[04 Feb 2004|06:25pm] |
i went to work lastnight. it was real easy. we had to wait around for like an hour and a half for the water to go down in the tanks. we got done cleaning the pipes at 3:30am and played spaids from 3:30am till 7:00am.my boss gave me my drug test papers and im takeing it tomarrow.i like the hours alot its perfect i don't get tired until the end, then i go home at 7:00am and sleep till 3:00pm and do whatever until 10:00pm. that cycel goes monday through friday.
i missed megan by my side this morning when i went to sleep. it always helps me sleep when she is in my arms. i love you ra.<3
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(2shots dranked)
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whiskey_passout's journal